Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is something we learn, not something we have from birth. Emotional intelligence is connected to our consciousness and there are four levels we might accede.
Over 70% of the people stay for their whole life at the first level – the level where the beliefs are mainly created by the society. 

At this level, our actions are a result of what society wants from us. Our actions are a result of external references. It’s what I call “living inside the matrix.”

The second level of consciousness is where we become aware there’s something more around us than what we can see. This is the level of awakening. Our perspective about the world is changing as we become more aware of our internal references. At this level, we work with creative visualization and we imagine the world from our perspective.

In the third level of consciousness, we begin to co-create our new world. As we become skillful at creative visualization, our awareness raises to a new level. We see all the opportunities we didn’t see till then. This is the first level where you understand that “impossible” is just a state of mind and not reality. But the change comes with a price. At this level, you will have to accept that you have to let go of some things in your life in order to achieve better ones.

On the fourth level, we understand our purpose in life. It’s the level where you create your reality. You’re no longer influenced or owned by society but influence it. Accomplishing your life’s purpose day after day, you’ll find happiness as a state of being.

Emotional intelligence is something we learn only if we accept our necessity of learning it. It’s something you do only for yourself and the reward will come from inside you in every aspect of your life: health, relationships, and career.

The first step to take is to escape the matrix. And this first step is called courage! If you want to become your best version, have the courage to get out of your comfort zone and start your transformation.

One of the best methods to accede to the second level of consciousness was created by Connirae Andreas and it’s called “The Wholeness Work.” You can use it in your self-coaching practice whenever you experience a negative emotion. By practice, you’ll become more and more aware, and you’ll be able to use it in many contexts of your life, but in the beginning, use this method for something with medium to mild intensity.

Think of something that your partner or a friend told or cause you that doesn’t really hurt anyone or cause harm, but it pushes your buttons a little.

Step 1:  Imagine it is happening now and notice how you feel about this situation. Ex: “I feel annoyed.”

Step 2: We can feel negative emotions in our physical body, so notice the location of the response. Ex: “in my chest”

Step 3: We have the power to “give” physical dimensions and qualities to our emotions. Notice the size and shape, maybe density, weight or temperature of your emotion. Ex: “it’s sort of round and the size of an orange it’s fuzzy and a bit prickly…”

Step 4: Now you can recognize, “I am aware of this [….] sensation, so Awareness is present.”

Let’s talk about what’s the space of your consciousness. I use to say that this is the whole space beginning from the center of your being, which is ending in the last point of the Universe you’re aware of. For example, if the farthest point you know about is planet Pluto, then your space of consciousness includes everything from the center of your being to this planet. The space of your consciousness is your personal Universe.

What is Awareness? Awareness takes place inside your space of consciousness. Take a moment to experience Awareness…. You are aware of the sensation you’ve just been noticing, so awareness is there, and awareness is also throughout your body and all around. If a sound happened on one side of you, you would hear it automatically, without effort. If a sound happened on the other side, you’d also be aware of it without effort. And even if your eyes are closed, you can notice a sense of space all around you. Awareness is the capacity to notice, that is throughout your body, and all around. And there isn’t really any edge to it or an end to it. And you can notice it all, simultaneously, right now….

Step 5: Finding the ‘I’. Let’s return to this statement, “I am aware of this [fill in quality] sensation in [fill in the location].” Now let’s explore, “Where is the ‘I,’ who is aware of this sensation?” You do the same steps as you did to describe your emotion (find the size, shape, weight, density, temperature, of this ‘I’.)

Step 6: Find the next ‘I’, the one who’s aware of the first one. Repeat the steps.

You’ll do this procedure again and again till you find the first ‘I’ which is immaterial (your mind will say about it that is made by stardust, light, wind, and the list can continue…)

Step 7: Now you’re ready to integrate that ‘I’ in your space of consciousness by using Awareness. Ask the sensation of this ‘I’ to welcome the invitation to open and relax as the fullness of Awareness. Pause to gently sense into the ‘I,’ and to allow this opening and relaxing to happen in its own way. You are not really doing anything—just sensing how it occurs on its own. If you are experiencing a relaxing, melting, or dissolving, just stay with it until things settle. Enjoy the sense of relaxation or peace, or flow for as long as you like.

Step 8: Now focus to the previous ‘I’ and perceive its transformation, then repeat step 7 allowing it to open and relax to the fullest of Awareness. Repeat the previous step for every ‘I’ you discovered up to the first one, opening and relaxing each of them to the fullest of Awareness.

Step 9: Perceive how your initial emotion has transformed through this process. If you can still perceive it in a way, allow it to open and relax to the fullest of Awareness.

This procedure can be done all by yourself. Once the ‘I’ is merged with awareness, the integration with the sensation of the original feeling or thought is usually welcomed and natural. However, in the event it feels difficult or unwanted, then call a coach to assist you. You don’t need to force it if it didn’t happen on its own. This process is all about gentleness and relaxing of force, not adding force. Any forcing would be counterproductive—and it’s not needed.

Step 10: Imagine the initial context that made you experience the negative emotion. If you feel more at ease, or more neutral or resourceful, then this phase is complete.